Mimi

Deborah Sue Viets

September 25^th 1952 – December 16^th 2013

I have really struggled with how I wanted to address the great loss in our family. I’ve felt that maybe this is something too heavy to blog about, since my blog postings are usually about such trivial events and activities in our lives. But I know that the reason I blog is so that I have this record for my family.  And I want my children and grandchildren to know and remember Debbie, our Mimi.

 

The first time I met Debbie was in Dallas. Josh had purchased Cowboys tickets and we met up with his parents at a game. I was intimidated because she had just been named Woman of the Year in Sedan Kansas for her successful quilt shop there. She was beautiful and classy and had gorgeous dark hair and eyes, and I knew all of Josh’s best features came from her. We sweated through a very hot football game in the old Cowboys Stadium, and I later learned that Debbie doesn’t even like football. At all. But that was Debbie – she’d do anything for her boys. Luckily I married one of her boys, and we were at the receiving end of so much generosity from her.

In the following years she became a second mother to me. She taught me how to be married to a Viets man. A Viets man puts in long hours at work. A Viets man isn’t terribly romantic, but loves you infinitely. A Viets man will let you do anything you want, and will do anything for you… but you have to remember  to ask. Debbie understood all that, and we had many great conversations about our great men.

She taught me how to enjoy the chaos of being a stay-at-home mom. She would often remind me that of my 80 or so years on this earth, I will have littles at home for such a short time before they’re all gone to school. Then I will have “my time” again.

She was never bothered by the mess her house was in when family was there, and would say “A messy home is a full home”. She knew how important it was to slow down and enjoy family. She was always baking with my girls, or watching a movie together in her bed, or shopping with them or going to the park with them…it was great visiting Mimi.

She showed me how rewarding it is to give yourself to your family. She showered them with love, selflessness, and good food, and those boys returned it tenfold. I hope to do the same with mine.

I miss her.

 

Whenever we had a new baby, she was there. Whenever we moved houses, she was there. Whenever we needed a vacation, she was there.  

But the one thing Debbie has done for me, that has strengthened me the most, was tell me time and time again that I am a good mom. She would tell me I have the best girls. As I got to know Debbie more I figured her out though. I knew that when she showered me with compliments it wasn’t because they were true. It was because it’s what I needed to hear. Every mom needs to hear that she is doing a good job. She knew that.  I love her for that.

 

But let me start at the beginning and also share some of what I learned from Jon’s beautiful eulogy. Debbie was a farm girl, and she and Jon met when he got a job working on the farm, because he heard “the farmer has a cute daughter.” When he met Debbie, he didn’t think she was cute, he thought she was exotic and gorgeous. They were sweethearts at 16. He was in love with everything about her and especially the intonation of her voice. It was so rich and soothing; I will always remember it and wish I had it recorded for my daughters. Jon remarked that he’s noticed that each of his 5 sons married women with a particular intonation, not unlike Debbie’s, and perhaps they were drawn to that.

Debbie dedicated her life to raising her 5 boys. In fact they were her life, so much so that when they were grown and left home, she was lost. She needed to find a purpose, and in Jon’s words, she was quite the “hurricane”. She went back to school, enjoyed her education at Pittsburgh State, and later had a great business opportunity. She was going to open her own quilt shop. Now let me interject here by saying that everything Debbie did, everything she owned, had class. That quilt shop was no exception. No cheap fabrics, none of last-years fabric lines, only the best and the newest. And her shop was gorgeous. “Lillie’s Classic Quilts” was named one of the 10 best quilt shops in the country by Better Homes and Gardens. Her little shop was known by every quilter from Tulsa to Kansas City. She was extraordinary. My shelves are full of quilts from Debbie, and only after being in her shop and seeing her piece and stitch and quilt did I fully appreciate the treasures that I have.

 

The quilt shop was a great chapter in her life, but that chapter came to a close as Debbie realized she needed to take care of her parents more, and be more available to her growing family. Debbie’s mom, our Grandma Billie, was diagnosed with breast cancer. The shop was closed and Debbie cared for her mom as she moved on from this life.

 

I miss Grandma Billie too. She was a character, full of energy and a great big smile, always making us feel right at home. She loved being a mom, and she would always have an old adage to share with us (“A good mom has lots of plants, she knows how to nurture”…that one always bothered me). She was quite superstitious too, and that was always fun. Oh she had some stories.  But mostly what defined Grandma Billie was how hard she worked. She maintained that little farm on her own for nearly 10 years after Grandpa lost his mobility. In her 80’s she was still pushing her mower around. And with that cancer-stricken body she was still trying to take care of Grandpa. That’s when Debbie stepped in.

Cancer is an evil beast. It often comes to those who have done absolutely nothing to invite it. I really believe that there was a divine power suppressing this beast within Debbie until her work was done. Her great work on this earth was her family. She needed to be there for her mother and she needed to see the last of her 5 sons get married.

At one point during the service the pastor asked the 5 boys to stand, and at that moment there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. There stood Debbie’s greatest accomplishments: 5 handsome men, all grown and married, and all fathers. Great fathers.  Her legacy lives on through them.

 

We all miss her. We want her here to help us. But Jon so courageously told his boys that “If you think there’s something you need from your mother…you don’t. And I don’t”. We’re all still trying to learn that.

Ski trip to Big Sky

When in Montana, especially in the middle of a cold snowy winter, do as the Montanans do - take your family skiing.

There are 3 ski resorts within a short drive of Billings, so it's definitely the thing to do.

We had a gift card to Big Sky, the biggest and best one, and splurged on a nice weekend away for my birthday.

We all enrolled in ski school for the morning, then had the afternoon free. Scarlett and Hadley spent the day at the daycare...which was superb.

 

Some pics from the girls' lessons

 

 

 

They both did really well that morning, they just need to learn to stop themselves better and they're ready for the big hills. Lydia mastered the magic carpet lift and went down that hill on her own all afternoon.

 

 

Some pics from my turn on the slopes. It was so peaceful and so beautiful. We live in an awesome place. I'm definitely not as fast as Josh yet. I still do a lot of snowplowing and really sharp turns to slow myself down. Josh, however, thought he was ready to tackle the bigger hills...and took a few humbling spills.

We'll get there though. For our first time on skiis, it was pretty fun. We're all anxious to go back.

   

 

 

 After I got Scarlett out of daycare, I took the girls to the tubing park. They were so thrilled, even though it was fast, and the guys were giving us a big spin as we went down. At first Scarlett and I went tandem, but after 2 runs she wanted to go on her own, and race me. We had the terrain to ourselves for a whole hour.

 

Dad missed out on the tubing adventure to look after Hadley. Hadley had a rough weekend. She had been running a low grade fever and had no appetite. The daycare staff were so helpful and just cuddled with her and put her down for a 2 hour nap that morning. We spent the evening taking turns comforting Hadley. It wasn't until Monday that we learned she'd been suffering with a double ear infection. She was such a trooper though - she never cried, she was just lethargic.

Scarlett brought along her friend "Beebo" from preschool. She had to document her adventures with Beebo for her class. He had a great time at Big Sky too!

Disney LIVE comes to Billings

When we heard that Disney was doing a show in Billings, and for one day only, we were quick to buy tickets. They were pricey...but how often does something like this come to Billings?

We took the whole family and got great seats. It was fun to be up close to everything...but so loud! It didn't bother Hadley, who somehow managed to nap through the second half.

 

It was a great performance that followed the same format as the Disney on Ice productions. Mickey and friends MC the show, and then 3 Disney Classics are featured, in this case - Alladin, The Little Mermaid, and Toy Story.

The music was all pre-recorded, much like Disney on Ice. Their talent wasn't singing, in this case it was dancing. They even did a couple of numbers that required audience members to dance along. 

 

 A lot of talent, a great production, and a fun afternoon as a family.

Scarlett's sleep ritual

Scarlett can ONLY fall asleep if she has her Dora blankie between her legs and her booty in the air. It is the cutest. thing. ever.

If she's had a big day, and starts "wrestling" her Dora blankie, we know she's about to knock out, and we never know where we'll find her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scarlett, you make us laugh every day. This is for you. One day you are going to look back at these and laugh with us.

No more swagger

It is with a heavy heart that I say farewell to my best friend,

the original Swagger Wagon. The Sienna SE.

It's not my fault really. It's Josh's fault, it's Montana's fault,....it's just that with Josh working in North Dakota during the week, I couldn't be left alone at home without a 4wd. I thought I could get by, but this winter has beat me down. It led to our breakup.

I now drive a Suburban, but she just can't replace you. She's tough alright, but that's about it.

Only a mom understands the magic of the minivan.

It's the sliding doors, it's the built-in window shades, it's the ability to control everything from the temperatures to the lights and even all the doors from the driver's seat. It's approaching your car after shopping and seeing both sliding doors open for you as your kids pile in. It's the front airbag that turns off if it senses a child in the front seat. It's the 14 cupholders. It's watching your children let themselves in and out of the car on their own, without ever bumping another car. It's the extra safety features. It's getting the baby carrier in & out with ease, in the tightest parking space. It's the gas mileage. It's the storage space. Oh the space. It has as much space as the suburban...it's just cleverly disguised.

Of course what originally attracted me to you was your swagger. The sporty trim, the 19" wheels, the V6 engine and the great sound system. I never saw myself as a minivan owner, after all my last two cars were a LandRover and a Tahoe. But you won me over, and I would recommend you to anyone.

 

Farewell Swagger Wagon. It's been real.