Yes, I have FOUR girls!

The week after Thanksgiving we had the most important doctor's appointment ever. We were going to find out the sex of our baby. We were very anxious about this because, as mentioned earlier, this is probably our last baby, and we really really hoped for a boy just so that we could have that sense of closure that we really are finished. We took the girls out of school so that they could come see a video of the new baby, and that made this very special for all of us.

Although common sense led us to believe we were having another girl, we still looked at ANY other possble signs that this would be a boy. My cravings were different, I was a little more sick in the first trimester, and - most significantly - my girls had prayed for a brother. SO I thought - well, there's still a chance!

The ultrasound technician started the scan and went right to the baby's bottom to check the sex.....It's a Girl! (and she really didn't sound excited either). Josh and I were just silent. Our hearts sank a little. Josh's only comment was "Well..guess we'll have to try again"...(to which I gave him a nasty glare). But then we pretended to be really excited because Lydia and Claire were there, and they were disappointed too. We watched our little daughter's movements on the big screen, watched her hiccups, watched her kicks, watched her scratch her little head, and are proud to say that she is a perfectly healthy baby, growing a little ahead of schedule. We are so SO blessed.

But...I still had to cry a little. Especially being so hormonal. I cried into Josh's shoulder. I cried into my best friends shoulder, who has all boys and understand what its like. What its like to have people comment all the time on your family. "Aww...your poor husband" or "So...you're still trying for a boy, huh". Or that everyone you've ever met wants to know the sex of your baby more than anyone elses, so there's about 250 people that I have to tell "No, we aren't ever going to have a son". And then there's my husband. I must admit that one of the great joys of having daughters is doing things with them that I did when I was a little girl - watching Beauty and the Beast, collecting Barbies, doing dance and soccer,..the list goes on. But Josh won't have a son to share his baseball card collection with. Or to coach his football team. We had a long drive to Dallas later that day and had time for all of this to sink in, and it really was a tough day for us.

Then our mom got sick. Very sick. We got word while we were in Dallas that our Mimi was in the hospital after having a stroke, and they had found a brain tumor. A malignant, cancerous SOB. We drove from Dallas up to Kansas to be with her. My mother in law raised 5 boys and never got the daughter her heart desired. When I walked into the room she just put her hand on my belly and said "Oh sweetie.. I've been there... I used to wear trench coats when I was pregnant just to avoid the comments".  As ill as she was, she was able to make me smile, and I couldn't help but think of her life and her amazing family. I realized in that moment that she hadn't missed a thing by having all boys. Her experience was different, but still just as wonderful and fulfilling as if she'd had a girl in the mix. Because she was a great mom.

So now we're "over it". Josh was over it a lot quicker than I was, as men usually are, and he is so excited about our upcoming move to Montana, and taking his girls hiking and fishing and camping. Now I do feel silly about getting so emotional over something that is so...petty. But a pregnant woman has a right to do that :)

Our fourth little angel will be here April 10th! (Well, probably a few days early)